Yesterday I was playing Volleyball at a local YMCA. It was a pickup game and anyone was welcome to come and play. We usually have a normal crowd of regulars, but yesterday we had a newcomer show up.
Throughout the series of games that were played, this new man became somewhat irritable during play. As his team was losing, he started to make frustrated gestures, and started kicking and throwing the ball around whenever his team made mistakes. His anger was shining through and that negative energy effected the whole room.
After multiples outbursts like this, his entire team turned on him, outcasting him from being allowed to play. And so there he sat, arms crossed on the sideline, acting like a victim.
It's amazing as I become healthier each day, how easy it is to spot unhealthy behaviors. How easy it is to spot my old ways in others.
I was once angry. Constantly being outcast from the world, constantly feeling like the victim. So much so, it made it impossible to grow. I had a lot of ambitions growing up (I still do), but I wanted them overnight. And when they weren't overnight, I would become frustrated. I would become angry when I didn't get the win. Life felt so unfair.
What I should've been doing was staying patient. Putting effort in every opportunity and not allowing my frustration to defeat me.
Just like you shouldn't skip leg day at the gym, working on your "patience" muscles is equally as important. Take those little losses as an exercise to learn. Like any muscle, it must be broken down to grow bigger and stronger.
And if you have that outlook - where you must lose to win, then losing will start feeling like winning and there won't be anything stopping you from succeeding.
One of my favorite quotes (unfortunately I don't know who originally said it) goes like this: "A rising tide lifts all boats". Had this newcomer not made his anger visible around him, his team wouldn't have been distracted by his outbursts. Instead if he used those feelings as fuel and inspired those around him, he might've found the success he was looking for.
Think about it.
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