Today is one of those days, I'm feeling pretty grateful. I've reached a plateau of "normal" - in the sense of this new life feeling like my own and not some weird dream coming true. I've hit a groove and I love it.
On Saturday, the girl that usually helps me setup for volleyball was out of town leaving me to setup by myself. Had this happened the first couple of weeks, I would've been in full panic mode. I turned up some music and took my time. Let the moment soak in. I remembered that first week almost two months ago. The amount of stress I was under to make things right my first time around. The amount of worry, nervousness and overall feeling of being overwhelmed by it all.
All of those feelings were no longer there. I was in cruise control mode, enjoying the day for what it was. Sitting back watching players interact, exchange numbers, laugh and make jokes... all during an experience that I put together. I felt proud and accomplished. I did this.
But, all during the the months and months of stress. The nights where I couldn't sleep and constantly would go through stages of panic attacks, this somehow feels all worth it. I don't know why I am wired the way I am, but I know myself well enough to understand the waves. Through those periods of stress I know comes a big payout and a moment like this of reflection.
I can't operate under those conditions forever, but while I'm young, I enjoy pushing myself to see how much I can do.
A couple of years ago, we mentioned the YouTubers "Yes Theory", a channel I am really fond of. They operate on a weekly basis with the ideology of doing something they didn't think they'd be able to do. Pushing the boundaries of discomfort, in-fact even deliberately going out of their way to seek it.
I was inspired by it and continue to be.
Even now as I sit back and reflect on my "cruise control" I can't help but think what's next. I've reached a level of comfort, but I hardly want to stop pushing myself.
Now I look at things that I have no experience doing and say to myself "I could do that."
Start an advertising distribution network - I can do that.
Organize a city-wide event for 6,000 people to partake in - I can do that.
Open a bar/restaurant with no experience - I can do that.
And I plan on doing it all, in fact some of it pretty soon. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, as a reminder or for some of the new people here. What's something you can do today to push yourself outside of your comfort zone. Next time you say to yourself:
"I want to _____ but I can't because of _____?
Remove the reason stopping you and go for it.
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